Cuba was fucking amazing. I miss it to be honest. Well, I miss it some but I really miss the feeling of traveling with a purpose. Traveling, learning, and lots of writing for the sake of the magazine article I’ve sold and also other potential ones.
The weird thing is, in the week I’ve been back, I’ve had nothing but time (too much time really) and yet have written very very little. The article isn’t done, I haven’t pitched others to other publications. Maybe I wrote myself out while on the trip so now I just don’t feel like writing anymore. I don’t know. I’m in a weird funk. I so miss that feeling of exploring, and the knowledge that I’m there to write something on assignment. But now I’m back, the trip and the excitement are over, and now I’m just looking at getting back to my day jobs and actually having to synthesize all that data I gathered in Cuba into actual readable pieces of freelance journalism. Much less exciting and exotic.
What the hell do I do? I don’t like my jobs but need to make money somehow. Why do I find it so hard to write when I have plenty of time? Shit, so many questions about the future. I also am interested in going to business school in NYC but don’t know if I’d actually like living in the city, or even would like the program that much. I never know what I’m doing or even what I want. How hard can it be to know what I want? Shit.